This, from the CMO Council. Want to know why CMO’s are in trouble? Because they can’t speak English. This is disgraceful. If a direct report spewed this kind of double-talk at me, I’d whack him over the plastic drop cloth in my office. And what is really scary to me is that the CMO Council printed this as a sub-head in their year end report, which seems to indicate that they hold this up as some kind of model behavior. Wow.
The above quote means, “I really don’t know what I’m going to do next year and frankly it scares the hell out of me, because instead of banking all that money I got from those stock options, I bought a bigger boat.”
This marketer should have said, “This year, we’re going to quit horsing around with tweaking the budget an inch to the left or the right and focus our people, strategy and money at the few things that matter most — the things that actually drive profitable growth.”
“We’re also going to write it all down in a completely transparent and accessible way so that the CFO, the CEO, my counterpart in sales, and even the engineers can comprehend what a good investment all of this marketing is.”
“Oh, and then, we’re going to demand the same from every other functional group in the company.”
Would this have helped more? Would our marketing friend have more credibility and make a stronger impression if he delivered this message?
Or do you prefer the double-talk?
Hah! Looks like it was generated by a buzzword-heavy MadLib server. When I TA’d in grad school for the business writing class, I’d have marked that statement “blissfully content-free.”
We’re gonna need a bigger boat…
Shelbey: you know what, if this had been held up as a completely silly expample of marketing double-talk, it would have warranted little more than a grunt.
It was highlighted as a shining example by a well-respected marketing organization, though. And that makes it very, very funny. In a sad way, of course. But still.